Sleep. It’s the one thing that I know all of us want more of as we become mothers. It’s a valuable commodity, and there’s nothing that can replace it. No amount of caffeine can replace those hours our body needs to regenerate itself and rest, unfortunately.
I had always considered myself a pretty strict routine/sleep enforcer at our house, and I probably am. Each kid, I’ve become a little more flexible with routine, though. Some of it has to happen…like driving to and from preschool…and others, I just do to myself…hello Target run! So, once Winnie was born, I think I thought I was being super vigilant about her schedule, when in reality I probably wasn’t being as on top of it as I thought. And you just forget how needy newborns are…and how often they actually need a nap.
So, in comes Tiffany Jaegger from Eat. Play. Sleep. She reached out to me, and of course I jumped at the opportunity. I learned a lot from her, and even more than that, she helped keep me accountable. And I didn’t have to think of a schedule myself! It’s kind of like having a personal trainer. Even really fit people benefit from someone else staying on top of them with their workouts. An accountability partner is never a bad idea. She wrote everything out for me. Step by step. And I stuck to it.
I definitely struggled at first. We started sleep training Winnie at 15 weeks old. I could tell she was waking up just because of a sleep cycle ending and not out of hunger, because as soon as I started nursing her, she’d fall back asleep in 2 minutes. But I kept doing that, so that I could get her back to sleep easily, which in turn became a crutch.
So, I knew I wanted to change something, but I wanted someone else to direct me. I wanted someone else to tell me that it’s okay if she fussed for a few minutes so I could get out of my own head and mom guilt cycle. I know crying it out or strict schedules aren’t for everyone, so if it’s not your thing, I totally respect you and how you parent your children. I just know our family runs well on schedules and all of our babies have thrived from them. So please, no negativity about sleep training here.
All in all, it took Winnie a good week to get into her new routine of putting herself to sleep. The first two days were hard, but Tiffany was there to help and she’ll be there to help guide you too! And after 3 or 4 days, I could already see a huge difference in her naps and wake time in the morning. And after a good week, the difference was huge! That’s why it’s important to have a coach…just like working out, you feel sore and like giving up…you may want to throw in the towel for sleep training too. Get that coach to keep your morale up and to keep you accountable!!
Winnie was already a pretty great nighttime sleeper when we started. It was the naps that we had to figure out. I know I had talked with everyone a bit about how to do naps with her since her nap times were right at 8 and 11, which also happened to be when I HAD to be in the car to get the older girls from preschool two days a week. It was a little difficult. We just learned that we had to start her nap in a carseat on those days. So, I bought a portable white noise machine and carseat cover (similar to this one) to make sure it was semi dark and nothing would disturb her. And this solution worked really well. They weren’t perfect nap days, but we stuck with the routine, and she was fine. Now, we’ve extended her wake times a little bit so that she’s awake for both preschool pickup and drop off!
Tiffany wanted me to give you guys a couple helpful nuggets for sleep training, so, here they are:
1. Keep consistent, stick to a plan. If baby is 3 months and younger, stay on a 3 hour Eat Play Sleep routine.
2. Babies sleep in 45 minute sleep cycles, so when your baby hits the 45 min sleep transition mark (we all know this dreadful 45 min intruder at nap time), your baby is in a light sleep, about to transition into the next sleep cycle. Instead of allowing your baby to transition on its own into the next sleep cycle, you rush in and pop that pacifier back in its mouth in fear of not going back to sleep. At that 45 min intruder mark, you baby has not learned to soothe back to sleep on its own yet. Because of this, your baby is depending on that pacifier to go back in during this light sleep state, almost an awake transition zone. So you ask, when will he stop this, the answer is, he won’t until you stop.
This vicious pacifier cycle happens between 2-4 months, give or take until they can find their own pacifier by themselves around 6-9 months, or until you stop going in. So the next question is, how do I stop?
For one, you need to stop going in and saving the awful pacifier spitting out cycle. Just leave your baby to let cry back to sleep and he will figure it out in 3-5 days to go back to sleep. If this is not your cup of tea of crying back to sleep, then you need to wait till the 6-9 month period when baby can figure out how to pop the paci back in its mouth on own (maybe throw 5 paci’s in the crib, for multiple chances), and keep popping it in for your baby till he learns this skill.
Do what is comfortable for you and your family. So either just biting down and suffering 3-5 days of crying back to sleep, or be ok with a few more months of going in and popping the paci back in your baby’s mouth, with no solid sleep and consistent short catnaps.
* Get baby out of your bed if you are desiring sleep and put baby in its own space, if that’s the nursery, a walk in closet, a bathroom.
* If baby wakes prior 3 hr market night (and is of healthy weight and under 6 weeks of age), put baby back to sleep without food. If it’s been 3 hrs and the baby is awake, then feed.
I love all of these little tips. They’re so helpful! We struggled with Winnie’s weight for a little while after we started sleep training, so I got super nervous, but even with a little disruption with lots of doctor appointments and a bit of change with her feeding, she still knew her routine, so she wasn’t bothered at all!
Every time Winnie gets a little sick, routines don’t quite go as planned either, but you adjust. And once it all settles back to normal, the routine you had in place will come back naturally to your baby. It makes it all a lot easier. Hard work and consistency definitely pay off. But, like Tiffany said, you can either do it while they’re young and let them cry for a little while without popping their paci back in or wait until they can pop their paci in themselves. It’s all up to you and your comfort level! We all know babies need us as their primary caregivers. They depend on us for EVERYTHING! So, making sure you’re comfortable is so important for the process to work. Tiffany won’t push you on anything, but she will hold you accountable if you’re serious and ready. She had to check in with me a few times when I just felt like I couldn’t keep going.
I am happy to say that Winnie now sleeps 12-13 hours at night and takes three solid naps during the day. We do use a Dock-A-Tot still sometimes, but most nights she sleeps just in her crib (on her back, unless she rolls over by herself, with a sleep sack on. Same goes for naps. I know there are some photos on her tummy…her own doing. No need to criticize). She still wakes up after that 45 minute period, but it takes her two minutes to put herself back to sleep unless she’s just having an off day. I know that having a baby isn’t all about how you can get them on your routine. Motherhood is selfless. There’s no changing that, but lack of sleep and routine can affect everyone. That’s why I ALWAYS recommend some sort of routine or schedule. That way, everyone knows what’s supposed to happen and when.
So maybe this Mother’s Day, give yourself the gift of sleep! Or start entertaining the idea of sleep training. Talk with
Tiffany and see if you think it’d be a good fit! And always, ask me any questions you have here, Instagram, or email me.
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